Beingmissmane.wordpress.comSexual abuse is everywhere. It is therefore important that as parents or parents to be you need to protect your child.

Alot of people would agree with me that they were sexually abused at a very young age. And this has left a huge scar in their lives, maybe as a result of them not having a ear to listen to them or they’ve been threatened never to open up. 

 Sexual abuse is everywhere like I said earlier. Am sure it scares shit out of you when you watch news on your television or you see a post that mentions a child who has been sexually abused.  Does fear grip you when you think of protecting your child from not being a victim of sexual abuse? Does it bring back memories of what you too experienced as a child? Or does it remind you of someone you know who suffered such? Does having a female child scare you?

A lot of kids grow up being traumatized, and a lot of them act in such weird ways that even a parent feels like they no longer know their child/children. Everyone has their own ways of reacting to something, so you can’t totally say you understand how someone feels even if the Same happened to you. Some kids do not feel the impact until later in life while some never go back to who they were. It is even more painful when the abuse comes from a trusted person. As a parent or parent to be, have you thought of practical ways to safeguard your child in this terrifying world? 

Remember it is not only females that needs to be protected. Males needs it too, Alot of them are sexually abused and harrassed too, but they never get to speak about it (except to maybe close person(s)). 
 Do you think it’s possible to protect your child(Ren). Well, Yes it is very possible to help your child avoid being sexually abused but you need to recognize your responsibility.  As parents, you do not only owe your child material obligations, you also need to safeguard them physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. And these things needs to be filled so as to help them as they grow up. Here are some practical ways that could help your kids avoid sexual abuse:

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1. Help them be free around you- 

Here in Africa a lot of us kids find it really hard to talk to our parents especially our mums (my mum must not see this or else am so dead😰). Even the ones you can talk to, there’s a limit to what you can say else it would be used against you. So as a parent how do you hope to talk to a child about important topics like sex when you don’t even give them the chance to express themselves to you? Well, this can be fixed. From a little age, start talking to your child about sex, at first it’s awkward but it’s good you do, as time goes by you would feel comfortable talking about it with them and they would be free to talk about it also with you. Let them know that they can tell you anything without you judging them, and without you using it against them. And if your child is a older and you still can’t talk to them about it, you could start now, you have to be very patient and understanding when Dealing with a teenager.  That done you need to…

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2. Let them know the dangers around-

Do not Hurd all informations about things happening around them, all in the name of protecting them. Most kids are already exposed to these things. So do your part by talking about it with them, help your child know the dangers of premature sex. Do not threaten them with words like; if you have sex something bad will happen to you, if someone touches you, you will get pregnant. Children these days are very curious and so they might want to know what would happen really… So instead of that, tell them the real danger around having premature sex and then

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3. Prepare them for the dangers-

 Many at times children who have been abused do not know until they are older. Ignorance makes it easier for a sexual predator to have his way. So as a parent let your kids know what it means when someone tries to touch them in their private area. Let them know that not even a close relative should be allowed to touch their private areas. Let them know it is inappropriate to be touched in such ways and here’s 

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3. What to do –

Tell them that it is inappropriate “if someone tries to make them touch their private areas or someone tries to touch “their’ private areas, it would be wise run away immediately, or say a serious “No” with a Stern face ( you should show them practical example while speaking to them)and they should leave immediately without going back. Or threaten to report them”. You can say these to your kids if you…

4. Communicate– 

If you talk with your child, letting them know you don’t judge them, they would be more open to you about anything. So communicate with your child… Be patient with them and listen to them as they express themselves, encourage them . This can be achieved if …

5. You are your child’s best friend-

Being your child’s best friend is beneficial for both you and them, so make that your priority. Because it will open room for easy communication. Use tactful questions to draw out their thoughts… And if you’re having issues with your child not opening up to you, be patient like I said earlier. Maybe you need to Change your approach towards them. Let them see that you are not here to judge them.  If your child is your best friend, they would prefer your advice to that of their peers. But they can be your friend if you can…

6. Be a good listener-

 When you listen to your child talk, you would be able to help them in areas needed. And they would love to always talk to you. Knowing that you have their interest at heart. Encourage them when they talk to you. Tell them how proud you are of them. 

7. Be careful who you leave your kids with- 

This is really important. Though as parents you can’t always be with your kids 24/7. But please give your child more time as they grow because they need you around more than ever to protect them. No one would look after your child than you. Try as much as possible to…

8. Be available- 

With the innovation of technology almost everyone is caught up busy online. Please cut the time you spend online to spend meaningful time with your kids. Your time with them is more appreciated than any material things you give them. 

9. Take them serious-

Make sure that you pay attention to what your kids tells you, take them seriously. A sexual predator could be a trusted person also.

Always tell them to report any incident to you. Use questions to draw their thoughts. Let them know the dangers around them, commend them when they do good things.

It’s not easy to provide and protect your kids but it is possible to.

I hope your efforts are worthwhile. Please do your best to protect your kids. 

Hope it helps.

Please share your thoughts too-

It’s been a while I came around, there are cobwebs everywhere πŸ˜‚… I’ve been so  busy with exams, work and trying to compile this post wasn’t so easy too and so I hope it helps parents and parents to be.
With love πŸ’œ πŸ’œπŸ’œWwwbeingmissmane.wordpress.com
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69 thoughts on “Sexual Abuse ( how to protect your child)

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this, a lot of people shy away from talking about this because they think its taboo. Really important to talk about this and how to keep your kids safe. Both girls and boys.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is very well said. I think it’s important that we show them how much we support them. It’s never an easy issue and it will be with them for the rest of their lives. Oir love and guidance will at least help them cope.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As a victim of child abuse, I can completely identify with the challenge of speaking to children about this, but it is very necessary. I was very careful in choosing my words and the level of information when speaking to my girls at different times in their growing up lives. Thanks for shedding light on this very important subject.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a topic that needs more exposure, and the advice you give is very sound. I am very surprised about what you say that in Africa is difficult to talk to your mom! For many people, including myself, our mother is the one person to tell everything! Sadly, it is true that for boys it is more difficult to talk about such topics. We still have a lot to learn as a society!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Excellent advice. I agree that being available for your child and developing a relationship where you spend time listening to them and getting them comfortable talking about their day – bad and good is the way to protect them.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for approaching such a complex and important topic. It’s an issue that impacts us all, so it’s important that we’re aware and are doing all we can to be mindful.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Such an important post. I read Spilled Milk and highly recommend it if people are wondering what it feels like from a victim’s perspective. I feel so sad that this type of abuse exists out there but feel grateful that people like you shed tips and awareness in this area.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This struck home to me! I have 2 boys at the same age that my husband had been sexually abused as a child and realized I’ve done a horrid job of getting ahead of this. This was such a good read for me and it definitely gives me a place to start too!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. These are some great tips. This a a very important article and parents need to make sure they implement some thing in their home. I have open door policy with my girls and they can tell me anything. Thanks for sharing such an important articles.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My daughter’s godfather turned out to be a pedophile so I am really sensitive to this. These are important things to talk to your kids about. As for me, I just tell her that don’t be afraid of someone who would threaten me. If they told me, I would be safe and ok. And I reiterate that it’s never ok for someone to touch you in a way that feels violating.

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  11. This is such an important topic and one that must be handled with delicacy. I endorse your point of the need to listen to our children for then we maybe able to discern and thwart apparent threats. I similarly endorse your warning to let your children know of the dangers that exist albeit with delicacy. I am appreciate that you mentioned the importance of being their best friend for in that way kids w ill come to us in the light of perceived threats. Not only should parents be careful of whom they leave their kids with but also of whom they allow into their homes. In a world in which such invasive resident evil lurks, parents may not only have to be vigilant but evolve into being vigilantes in order to protect their children from these sexual predators. Thanks for your wisdom with us

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  12. Such a scary topic, but very important one. It is my chief responsibility as a parent to protect my children, and these tips will make it easier as I navigate into the tween years with my girls.

    Liked by 1 person

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