I quickly searched my bag to get my beeping
phone like I was going to lose the sms once it stopped beeping”.
I cursed my bag for being so big and having numerous pockets. I pushed my bag down my arms out of sheer annoyance so I could search for my cell-phone well. I finally saw it at the same corner I had checked over and over again. I let out a shrilling hiss- grateful at the same time I found it; breathing heavily like I’d been running. I quickly unlocked my password and scrolled to my inbox and clicked on the familiar number.
Quite surprised and shaken; I read the message from my ‘Ex’ of over 4 years.
“Hi im around; I’d love for us to meet”… same restaurant, Jason .
I felt adrenaline gush through my body at a high hydrant as I lost my balance and almost fell when my fiance held me back from falling.
“Are you alright honey”?… he asked me,concerned.
‘Yea im good’; i said faking a smile while adjusting my shirt… He squeezed my hands gently and gave me a reassuring smile.
If I say I don’t know why my ex of over 3 years wants to see me, I’d be telling a Big Fat Lie! He’s been sending me series of mails wanting to get back and I have been ignoring them; it was over for real this time I’d told him a lot of times.
I had begged for him to stay with me, to love me; for us to work things out together, I had waited so long for him to change and waited for him to come back to me; but he didn’t and now that I said ‘yes’ to my fiance; he wants me back…
This same thing Jason had done a lot of times; coming back when I finally decide to give someone else a chance, making it hard and impossible for me to move on.
I had turned down a couple of guys ready for me; because I was too in love with Jason. ‘Why the hell can he not let me move on’?
I know he’s come around all -the- way just to see me. And I’m really bothered now that he his around; every part of me says ;no, don’t meet Jason. But another part of me is warring against that part; saying; seeing him isn’t a bad idea after all, since you’re way over him and you know you’ll be married soon, you could meet him and sort things out with him, you guys don’t have to get back together, you could still just be friends. Just meet him this once and you don’t have to meet ever again.
I know meeting jason isn’t right but I so long to see him just once; ‘what am I thinking, I tried to snap out of my thoughts’.
Truth is; Seeing him is a very good bad idea; it ends up leaving me in the same page, confused, angry, indecisive, depressed, and the next moment I could leave my fiance and go running back to him even when I know he’s got nothing good in store for me, he’s just going to be stable with me for a few weeks and break me again.
Like her ; I’m sure many of us find ourselves in that situation or another, trying to get over a relationship that has got us all tied down to someone we know has got nothing good in store for us… you’re not alone in trying to get over someone for quite a long time… just know that you’re not weak, its because when you said you’re in love, you truly were in love…
To be continued…
Continuation Next week;
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